reflections on a post-modern society

or "why i hate san francisco public transportation."

decided to let the green infiltrate my soul & not, i repeat, NOT drive my car to the castro where i needed to pick up prints-but instead take muni.

i wanted to really try my hand at not consuming/expending so much energy & gas. all the ads & radio spots & large, alien recycle bins finally worked to make me aware of my carbon footprint, blah blah blah.

reader, please note. i love public transportation in other cities-the metro, subway, the T, MTR, metropolitan-all of these are great systems that make it possible to easily get from point a to where ever you're going much quicker & much more efficiently than on foot. sf muni is like none of these systems.

i digress.

so i get on muni. going about 15 blocks. in theory, i always loved the idea of sf muni trains-they're kind of retro, and look awesome tooling up & down market street.

worst 25 minutes of my life. & i had to do it twice. there & back. the city was really showing its dirty butthole without any attempt to mask the stench. i can't even begin to describe...the horror, the horror.

in a nutshell:
*psychotic asian woman screaming obscenities at the very overweight woman in a wheelchair that slowed down the already tortuously crawling train. this woman shouted awful things-as if the appointment she had to get an even less-natural colour glued in 3" strips on her forehead as a stand-in for eyebrows was so so so so so urgent. it almost came to blows, as everyone else in the rail car was mortified that this woman was being such a dick...or were we all horrified that she even existed? shorthand lesson? crack. kills.

*not to be outdone by nutter lady, we had at least 3 of the foulest smelling MFs on the planet dispersed throughout. this was to create a united front of an odor so powerful, it melted the brakes of our little F-Market train. at one point, i am fairly certain i opened the cap to a sharpie & shoved it in my nose. there was sadly no alternative.

*on the ding-ding trolley back to union square, a fight of epic proportions almost broke out between 2 homeless madamoiselles. one of them was totally cracked out & trying to befriend this vitriolic big lady. the big lady did not like this. she finally backs down & begins to talk chummily about free breakfasts with fat sausages & grits that can be obtained after "group." my stop finally is nearing when the big lady starts shouting about how ted kennedy had an illegitimate black daughter in kentucky that was involved in racketeering. (?) she then starts on a vociferous rant on how mr. kennedy's current medical condition is dominating the news & getting on her damn nerves. (commentary here is just too easy)

as i stepped off the train into the sunshine, i came to three conclusions:

1. san francisco public transportation? not so much.

2. though i have lived here for 6+ years, i am just starting to realize this place has a SERIOUS homeless problem. gavin, stop greasing your fucking hair & do something.

3. hungry around 10am monday-friday? i know a place that serves a kick ass breakfast. obligatory 1 hour "discussion" prior to the meal is required.