shouting across the divide

i want to be a maori tribesman.
hongis all around. (no cynicism here, honest-this picture makes me strangely light & optimistic.)

when did your heart go missing...(emo title #35)

this lady...she is desperately seeking something...no? the outfit, the mashed cigarettes-all half smoked...her MAKEUP (which is phenomenal)...her red nails...she is a vixen, a femme fatale. trapped in the body of an unloved housewife. my next comic will steal this as its backstory.

(thanks to leifpeng for the picture)

the beat robots

mad requests from all fronts asking what's playing in my ear (my taste is just That Good...lies, all lies-i just needed the encouragement-i think if most of my urban family were asked to describe my music proclivities in one word, that word would be...hmmm...probably "weird"-because most of my friends have really crap vocabularies. fact.)

yeah cubed. yyyeeeaaahhh.

(i'm a riot, alice).

before the list (is your heart racing yet? are your palms sweaty, your eyes rolling back into your head, like you're having a seizure? is your breathing shallow & weak? i know. parfait.) last.fm is siQ-download it, just have it going in the background somewhere. basically, if you are over listening to the same blech records you have in your itunes library, you can listen to a song you kinda like & find similar artists. found some of my favorite bands this way. you also can get reco's, meet randos with their whole encyclopedia britanica of opinions & loves & anathemas (BAM, pee wee herman comes out & the toaster & hat & flowers outside the window all dance-AAAAAAAAA). point? if you want to improve your taste, or just get out there a little more (MOVE OUT of your MOM'S HOUSE, GD*it, man, grow a pair!) get last.fm.

my musical routine (which obviously involves a high hat, a cane, and some wicked dance moves, in public, where my back up singers sing a kicky harmony) is to be OCD - read "TOTALLY obsessed"- with about 5 songs for a coppola (yes, i know) weeks - & i end up looking back nostalgically some weeks/months/years later at those songs that took hold of me & let them make the soundtrack for that particular time. then there are songs that i play here & there, that i grow to love & they will be on the soundtrack of my life. epic difference.

none of what i just said has anything to do with the songs i am going to list - i'm just filling the void. (i had you going there for a bit, though, didn't i? meh.)

(thanks to billi kid for making rad stickers & just generally for being bad ass-click on picture to see his stuff)

zippy songs (for the long trip home, when you need to put the pep back in your step) (title & then artist. read left to write. letters combine to make words, words combine to make...well, let's hope we're all on the same page)
*discotraxx, ladytron
*seventeen, ladytron
*scattered pearls, casiotone for the painfully alone
*smother + evil = hurt, the kissaway trail
*the genocide ball, the robot ate me
*glitter & twang, tullycraft (fun fun funsies song)
*doin' the raccoon, george olsen (no, this has not changed from yesterday, geesh)

what's it all about songs (for those deeper moments, when you need to have a reason for the ridiculous, a meaning behind the mess-or if you're just feeling emo & want to wallow in your own misery)
*moving pictures silent films, great lake swimmers
*trance manual, john vanderslice
*follow through, hotel lights
*owl waltz, seabear (the entire album the ghost that carried us away is laid back chill)
*love will tear us apart, susanna & the magical orchestra
*your hand in mine, explosions in the sky (yes, this song doesn't come off this list)

ok, i've got stuff to do too. i'll leave you with this:
"an intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools." -ernest hemingway
(maybe ole "papa" should have pushed the bottle every once an awhile-so he would have become something other than a skeavy old lech living in a dirty cabin in the middle of nowhere when he died ALONE...hindsight, i guess...)

join the racoon coat fraternity

the song is "doin' the raccoon" by george olsen. it is the best dork song out there-and it's from the 30's (or so). download it. waste a little precious time.

back to the grind.

thank you, wicked wicked funny person (james lileks) @ the bleat.

the bleat is a great place to troll for a LONG time...no really-way too much time. a totally unbelievable period of minutes/hours/days. achtung.

(thanks to silvernightingale for the picture)

things i don't remember...ever

*my user name for the 300 places i've registered for something (be it feeds, shopping, craftsy sites, at&t, pg&e, emails...i can't EVER remember what mood i was in when i signed up...or what email account i was using at the time...the number of times i have had to select "forgot user name?" is really borderline skitz-o)

*if i have enough garbage bags-so i always buy more, and have 25 boxes. the only time i am Certain i have them is when there isn't any.

*what list is where (i have iphone lists, computer sticky lists, little-brown-book-in-my-bag lists, moleskine notebook lists, etc. etc. etc.)

*which direction to go on bart-even if i am trying to get back to the city-i ultimately end up always having to call someone (art...is it the pittsburgh or the richmond train?)

*words i have read a million times that i thought i knew the definition of but was too warm in the beds to get up & dictionary...

SO, new plan? (i can't do anything about those other 4 never-remembers...but this last one i am going to try & beat).

vocabulary words of the week (yes, of course i have an excel list of all the words i was either slightly shaky on the definition or those that i love & want to use more...you would expect nothing less, no?)

so here we go, alligators & monkeys-the words of the week:

*hubris - (n), exaggerated pride or self-confidence. president bush's narcissistic hubris in international affairs (& pretty-much-always) has made it necessary to fake being canadian when outside of the states. (& yes, i am bitter)

*laconic - (adj), using very few words. sometimes, even by loquacious, over-the-top logophiles like myself, a picture really is worth a thousand words.

*anathema - (n), something or someone vehemently disliked or loathed. skinny jeans on guys coupled with flock-of-seagulls-esque emo hair styles was anathema to her fairly traditional sensibilities. (click on picture for additional details of the stupidity pictured at right)

*sardonic - (adj), disdainfully humorous. anyone whose last words are recorded to have been "either that wallpaper goes, or i do" is a friend of mine (and subsequently sardonic)-thank you mr. oscar wilde-in another life, you were my gay boyfriend.

*erudite - (adj), knowledgeable through reading & study. let's be honest, we all know common sense isn't my strength, if i know anything, it is because of my passion for books-i am extraordinarily erudite (with a touch of hubris, just to keep you on your toes)-ok, that sentence was shit, but this took way longer than planned.

non, je ne regrette rien

going to see my friend jenny. (trip to argentina...take two...smack of the arm on that hollywood-scene-announcer-wooden-thing).
can't wait. viva spontaneity.

the people have spoken

ambivalence waltz.

愉快的生日跟我

another birthday-who knew it would get here so soon? in some ways the longest year of my life, in other ways, astonishingly short.
ohhhh, but i am SO much wiser. the amount of knowledge acquired between the immature & oafish 28 & the glorious year-of-the-molly, magnificent 29...well...ginormous barely begins to cover it.

here's what i learned, in a very edited list (ps, i'm making this up as i go along...but am feeling quite loqacious tonight, so this is my mental note to try & keep it brief):

*sometimes you really DO have to take the leap & build your wings on the way down. (very rarely, before embarking on something you want to do in business, in your personal life-basically anything involving any kind of risk-if you Wait until all the Pieces Are In Place, you will NEVER MOVE. you will find yourself living in a place you don't want to be, incarcerated by fear. fear is the enemy. & sometimes you really can't see the forest for the trees, so you stand still. stop. burn the forest down & wield your machete with the courage of a thousand men.)

*there is nothing scarier than starting anew. nothing. (change you can control is easy to navigate through...it's the changes that are forced on you-by life that are overwhelming & suffocating.)

*just when you think you couldn't possibly take anymore stress, transition, anxiety or pain, more is dumped on you. you Will survive. (some sayings do prove true...it really does get darkest before dawn. on the worst day of your life realize that yes, it could indeed get worse. but you will find you had strength you didn't think possible...it will arrive just when you need it.)

*just because someone seems like a friend, it doesn't mean they are. (i learned last year that though i have throughout my life played the victim in shitty friendships-"she was a bad person...la la la"-by my silence, i make it ok for people to use me. i am an active participant in the people i choose to spend my time with & energy on. i learned that you must constantly evaluate the friends in your life. if you are more often than not feeling unappreciated & under-loved, something has to change. if it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck...well...exactly. i will be a million times better off ending a poisonous relationship the minute i realized it is lethal, then wait for a slow death. nip that shit in-the-bud.)

*good people are out there. they are rare, but they do exist. grab those people & don't let go.

*just because a book is well-loved the world over, an international best seller, a pulitzer or man booker prize winner, heralded as a classic & a must-read...DOES NOT MAKE IT A GOOD BOOK. (give such books the ole college try-and if just ISN'T GOOD, put it down. i've wasted more time trying to figure out why a crap book is "valuable to mankind" then i care to calculate.)

*sometimes the best sound is silence. (and if i can say that-molly that downloads 100+ songs a week,-you know that was a profound lesson from the last 12 months.)

*good will prevail. not always as swiftly as you want, or with as much fanfare as it deserves, but everyone eventually gets what's coming to them. you reap what you so, and karma's a bitch (insert scary laugh here.)

*new hobbies &/or interests are the most therapeutic way to get through the dark days. (trust me...if you have specific questions, you know where to reach me. i could go on about this for much longer than is interesting. trust me on this one, though. it's a fact.)

i'm sure i am missing a prodigious amount of molly-isms & year-in-review truths, don't fret, loyal fans, i am certain to ponder all of this at a future date. happy birthday to me (& thank you mother dearest-for ...well, you know...!)

resevoir passion

& back from the other side, the warrior has returned. obviously wiser for the wear. most definitely victorious (was there ever a doubt?).

first post of the new year. albeit belated, fundamental nonetheless. vital. impervious. insidious. magical manifestations of mindlessness.

will this year be different? will 2008 hold the answers that 2007 failed to reveal? will this new set of 12 perfectly un-lived & untainted months carry with them success, satisfaction, beauty & love-love-love? 52 weeks without emergency vet visits? 365 days mixed with calm & frenzy-but only when you want the extremes? will the time be endless ah-ha moments of self-improvement & awareness?. will i learn more, give more & live more freely? will music sound better, concerts be more spectacular & albums be produced by the thousands that change-enrich-catapult our auditory senses into the seventh level of heaven? will food be only fresh & full of vitamin-y goodness, yet devilishly delicious? will the winter be time for somber reflection & summer time for sun-filled spontaneous serendipity?

well.
we'll just have to see, won't we?

that's the best thing about the new year. that we don't know.

whether the next 12 months, in hindsight, were the worst-and we chalk this year up to be forgotten in the archives of absolutely awful...who would want to know that in advance? that would make living it twice as bad, because the anticipation of dread means you would be going through some version of hell twice. and if this year turns out to be the BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE-the year that on your death bed you proclaim to the loved one holding your hand that "2008 was the most fantastically magnificent 365 days of my whole life"-who wants to know that on 1.january? that's like finding out someone's throwing you a surprise party before you're surprised.

the mystery is the best part.
enjoy it.

(see you when the sun goes down)

ps-(i tried to push the button shown in the photograph...and was br00t@lly attacked by squirrels..achtung, baby...)