love in the time of the bubonic plague

who gives a shit about miley cyrus? really?? hannah motherf*cking-tana.
i mean...really?

vanity fair, notorious for borderline sexy pictures...with annie leibowitz at the helm, and we are shocked to see a 15 year old draped in a sheet...hmmm....this girl's father once sang "don't break my achy breaky heart." this picture is a step up from the mullets in this girl's genetic makeup. if anything, i think she looks kind of homeless with chapped lips...nothing to throw the book at.

i really couldn't care less. the only thing that bugs is the outrage-the moral vomit that has surfaced as a result. people, get jobs. find a hobby. go stand in traffic somewhere & cry, cry, cry about how the country is on a one-way trip to hell.

i'll be sitting first class, thank you very much.

ambiguous anathemas

here's the thing.
(as if there could ever really only be one thing. pffffttt)

let's rock a scenario-which you have heard, seen, read & experienced countless times.

who: 2 friends-let's call them madeleine (but we'll call her maddy) & oliver, just for kicks
what: in a conversation
where: irrelevant
prologue
let's assume our 2 friendsies are talking about something...oh, i don't know...going out to dinner, or meeting up, or calling when you said you would, la-la-la. let's say oliver just said he wanted to bail & do something else with his friends-or maybe he just wants to sleep. whatever.

the story
oliver looks kind of pained, braced for what he's sure will be an angry response, "are you sure it's fine?"
maddy looks him dead in the eye, "no, no, not a big deal."

conclusion
maddy goes home, or hangs up the phone, or walks away-and oliver imagines all is legit. he heard "NOT A BIG DEAL"-so that clearly meant he was off the hook, all was forgiven & little top-hatted leprechauns dance an irish jig just on the other side of the rainbow, guarding a pot of gold.
oh, simple, simple oliver.
maddy will spit nails for minutes, hours, days over the entire interchange. i mean doesn't EVERYONE know that "not a big deal" really means "you better fix this in a HUGE way, um, immediately.??"

this is girl 101. it applies to friends, lovers & whores.

evolve, boys, evolve.

the last frontier

i've arrived.
the state that brought us "into the wild" & "white fang".

my first observations of anchorage:
*cold
*silent as the grave (my talking on the phone was the loudest sound for miles & miles-at one point i guffawed & am certain i heard the entire town gasp.)
*cold
*so many gift shops i can't even begin to relay the scope & magnitude...(my favorite store-"once in a blue moose"...no, not kidding.)
*internet slower than dial-up
*officially, the edge of the earth. i would try to sell this idea to you, but will rely instead on my mad photography skillz to capture the scene in the upcoming days.
*it is 9pm & brighter than noon in the city (not exaggerating).
*if my mom doesn't get here soon, i am likely to blind myself staring at the snow flurries

(reader, please note, i am blogging NOT because i am unable to be in the moment...i am waiting the arrival of the mom, and have nothing to do, other than watch crap tv, stand in the snow storm, or hunt for an elk to mount on a wall...which i may do, if i can't think of anything else to say.)

oh the places we will go...

night night, from alaska.

tonight, tonight

sitting in my kitchen (surpress the urge to faint, thanks, those of you that know i subsist entirely on trader joe's frosted mini wheats, avocado toast & havarti cheese with carr's crackers...i appreciate your faith in me)...listening to miles davis' "love songs" (the emo-ness is showing on the outside now-just...terrible)...simultaneously trying to write a post (which i haven't in 2+ weeks, wtf) & look up random crap that keeps making cameos in my head-for instance i started trying to type & wrote the letter "t" about 3 times-finger resting on the key for too long-and this reminded me of the 1980's icon max headroom so i had to look him up for 12 hours (thank you modern technology totally ruining any chance i had at being not-ADD)...using fabulous wireless technology to broadcast to you, my loyal & unbelievably eclectic fans.

thank you, computers & red wine. i salute you.

nothing especially brilliant to pass along. just had to write something (aka "nothing"). in the case of this web log-i just needed to write so i know i am still alive.

stay tuned.