a small setback to a great comeback

while i normally try to refrain from blatantly using quotes here (lies, all lies), i can't help myself on this almost-full-moon-night-1:25-am.

"act out being alive, like a play. and after a while, a long while, it will be true."
john steinbeck, east of eden

one foot in front of the other, it's the only way. even if it's just baby steps (thank you, bill murray), @ least there's movement, signs of life.

working again feels like i can fully inhale for the first time in 4+ weeks. deep breaths, like after a 10k, after you stop feeling like your insides are melting.

oprah-book-club-reading-culture jump off a really, unimaginably tall building. dr. phil? go f*@# yourself. i am going the way of john galt, francisco d'anconia & howard roarke. the road less traveled (cliches are handy, carry this one around with you for quick reference during slumber parties, coffee dates or meetings with relatives you don't like). horatio algers? be damned, man. i want domination, not mediocrity.

i want infamy before ideals, ingenuity more than innocence, ironic intuition above imaginary inertia.
(and also a dictionary that goes beyond the letter "i")

kismet is for the optimist. i'll take failure over fate (& her cold, clammy hands) every day of the week.