this ain't a scene, it's an arms race

you walk down the street, and you are completely alone.
everyone is somewhere else.

listening to music-headphones jammed deep into the holes in the sides of their heads...trying desperately to create the soundtrack of their lives...going live in a constant, continuous music video.
texting-little fingers madly dancing across the latest it-device, reading messages-just to look busy, talking on the phone...

same thing happens at dinners, in bars, at cafes all over this economically nasty country-maybe the world. and it's depressing. no one looks you in the eyes anymore. no one listens to the tail-end of conversations-they are already documenting the past thing, or catching up to the current thing, or chasing the future thing.

no one just is.

i find myself becoming the multi-media third reich. not allowing phones at the table, et al-which makes me feel simultaneously old & out-of-touch. but its really starting to get on my fucking nerves. hey, i'm not judging as to how things got to this point-because, we all know i was one of the first to be guilty of indulging in being everywhere at once. but its getting out of hand. yes, ok, so we know now we can talk to anyone, anytime, and know exactly when everything on the entire bloated planet is occuring.

*noted.

now it's time to live in the present. start with a minute each day where you aren't at your computer, on your phone, or facebooking. ok? see what happens when you pick your eyes up from your ratty screens & you see what is going on in real time all around you. all you have is this moment. there are no ctrl+z edit undo's. live it, or lose it.

& yes, i feel preachy & self-righteous. but mostly just sad-and not endearingly so. sad that i am out on the street all alone.

(ps, if one more couple-a-holdin-hands waltzes past my window, shit is going down. what is this? cuddly-pairs-day? ctrl+alt+del, thanks)

behavior makes belief?

is it just a simple matter of matter over mind? is that all it takes? can you force your mind to ascribe to something by going through the motions like you already believed "x" thing? i mean, does "build it & they will come" really work when kevin costner & james earl jones are nowhere to be found?

let's give the audience an example of when this technique could prove useful (though the author has zero proof that this works, but hopes that it works, which in this case will have to be enough).

messy break-up? found your partner f*ing around? is the other person "just not that into you"? is your heart broken & shattered into unrecognizable pieces on a dirty sidewalk in detroit? do you find yourself unable to move past the pain? all you have to do is ACT as if you are over it-through your actions...meaning, you go about your day AS IF you are not desperately melancholy (in a style reminscent of vincent van gogh cutting off his ear, whilst listening to the smiths) & EVENTUALLY your brain will catch up with your body. now, i am in no way advocating sluting around-that's not exactly what i mean by acting as if...more like go about the day-to-day stuff as you did before you were sad (but without mr. or ms. x).

another example that could bring this one home (yes, this is the 2nd lofty attempt to use sports metaphors in writing...my hands tremble with nausea.) are you depressed (ok, disclaimer-if you are really depressed, like in a clinical way-go to a psychiatrist & get some medicine, i mean in a "it's been a week, and i hate myself & i'm bored with my life"...)-you go about the day PRETENDING by your actions that you are totally fine...and eventually you WILL BE fine. some call this the power of visualization. i don't. as i am not asking you to repeat some chant to yourself, using your rotted brain to imagine a better place for haggard body. no, no, no. (always group repetitive words in odd numbers, it's more aesthetically pleasing for the reader-a fun fact brought to you direct from "writing wranglers", local chapter 94133). no "envisioning" propaganda here. i'm saying actually go through the motions of not being where you are, and after some time has past, your mind/thoughts/blah blah blah will join the club.

hey, can't hurt.