french phrases for scenesters

want to appear to know more than you do? want to impress collegeaus, friends, family & fellow coffeehouse posers?

then these french phrases are just for you.

lesson #1 - the art set
so, picture this:

you are invented to attend a gallery opening, peruse a friend's "sculptures", are caught reading your boyfriend/girlfriend's journal...basically you are asked to comment on something you could give a shit about.

here's what you do.

point to some obscure part of the art at hand, and say "this is the pièce de résistance of the entire work". (peace day resistAHnce - molly phonetics, not real-if you want real, go home). it literally means "the best feature"-but by using your new french accent & trendy lingo, it doesn't really matter AT ALL what you say, just the flair with which you say it.

lesson #2 - politiks
you are at a dinner, you are at the gym, you are having cocktails with bourgeouise friends, and some topic related to politics surfaces like an oil spill in alaska. you don't know what they're talking about, but you KNOW they are conservative. the conversation focuses on you...everyone is staring...you have to say something...pull out your scenester french, and you will be everyone's fav political guru.

"well, it's "x's" (society, media, fill-in-the-blank) obvious laissez-faire attitude that is creating this situation".
(lay-say fair)-meaning? having a lenient or indulgent policy toward the actions of others (letting them do whatever they want). so again, this is only to be used with conservatives...or creatively with liberals.

another one that could work here is coup de grâce (coo-de-grA). it means "final blow, finishing strike". used in a sentence...

"i always thought this was a neo-nazi conservative country...but the coup de grâce was when that guy was elected president for a second term."

lesson #3-everyday uses
so here a few bits & bobs to spice up your normal boring conversations...to be used sparingly...don't overdo it, then it will be obnoxiously obvious you got this from a blog, which is a total scenester taboo.

regarding anyone you are talking about behind their back
*je ne sais quoi (je ne say qua...whatever, that looks just like the word, but other than that random "s" on the 3rd word, this one is kind of phonetic, sorry)..."an indescribable feeling or inexpressible something"...this can be good or bad, depends on the context.

*savoir-faire (sav-wa fair) - "know-how" is the real people meaning of this (a compliment)

regarding yourself or describing something your pov (point-of-view)
*raison d'être (rais-on (but really light on that "n" or you sound like you are from the country) day terr)..."reason for being"-good one, use it all the time.

*fait accompli (fay accompli)...done deal, nothing to be done about it now...i guess i tend to lean toward the dark side of french phrases, the ones about "final striking blows", etc...(go figure)

*force majeure (force ma-jor-eh)..."irrestible force or overwhelming power"-no reason, i just really like that one.

ok, enough "conversation stunnahs".

impress your friends. get something good out of it.

you scenester, you...

et voila!

никакая любовь в течение утра

(no love for mornings-in my native russian tongue)

weather is absolute ass-so foggy its like being covered by a moldy blanket every time you walk outside. the sun comes out for about 30 minutes between 3 & 5 o'clock...and then it's back to blanket town.

nothing fun to report on the world around me-the weather is tugging on my soul...sounds macabre, but really-how much grey & damp/moist (there's that word again) is one supposed to take?

i am dressed in the style of a greek tragedy-all white with gold jewelry...i thought i would try & coax the sun out of its summer siesta.

last friday priya & i got really hyped up with an advanced case of sun poisoning, and took the pictures seen here.

oh, and weekend plans? i plan to hunt the yeti of chinatown & photograph graffiti. it's going to be a wild time in the old town tonight.

mad love for mcsweeney's

all of their articles are funny...really. all of them.

this one especially got me tearing up, trying not to laugh in front of my work colleagues...you have to really have the songs for each character playing while you read-to get the full mental picture.

for the expats in BsAs or NwYkCy or SnFo

(oh's & ah's heard the world over...the rare sighting of a capital letter, and not an explicative...from molly...ohhhhhh ahhhhhh).

so a far away friend asked to for a top ten list...and being an ocd list maker, i am of course deriving obvious pleasure from this assignment. the main difficulty is limiting myself to 10 songs-top 10 songs for what? a lay in bed & feel sorry for yourself kind of day? a go out & get a new job "i need a pick me up" kind of day? a before you go out & shake your groove thing set? you can of course now see how "challenging" (thank you corporate america) my task is turning out to be.

molly, oh molly. can't just answer the question...i have to psychoanalyze the list...break down each song...is it the right song for the occasion? will it make those that listen to it melodiously melancholy? or malevolently maudlin? will it make you feel overtly optimistic? or oppressing & ominous?

alliterations aside. (but not really)

it's now been a good 12 hours since this project was undertaken. i muddled through music all morning...and am no closer to reaching the perfect set...

wtf?

screw it. without further ado (there was a lot of "ado" here, to be sure)-top 10 songs for those that are living on other continents (yes, jenivie oveda, that's you). (song - artist - album...probably didn't need to point that out, but i was never one to leave out the ridiculous & inane details...pl. ref. the 2-day long preamble above)

1. pulling our weight - the radio dept. - pulling our weight ep
2. don't call me whitney, bobby - islands - return to the sea
3. publish my love - rogue wave - descended like vultures (just buy the whole cd, serio)
4. don't look back into the sun - the libertines - don't look back into the sun
5. lola stars & stripes - the stills - logic will break your heart
6. fake empire - the national - boxer
7. honk if you're lonely - silver jews - american water
8. fill my little world - the feeling - twelve stops & home
9. chicago (mutliple personalities disorder version-ONLY) - sufjan stevens - the avalanche (thanks*)
10. you got yr. cherry bomb - spoon - ga ga ga ga ga

whew*.

l8r l8y

dogs...miss cleo's of the natural world?

have you heard that load of crap about how animals "spidey sense" natural disasters & move to safer ground?

all lies.

big earthquake last night in berkeley-the couple in the apt. beneath me felt it, people all the way in orinda felt the earth moving

& me?
i was wide awake in america-in my room, 4:42 am...not sleeping, not dozing, just really awake (and no, mom, not on crack).

& where, you might ask, were my three noble steeds, my 3 protectors, my bodyguards against impending doom?

asleep, snoring like pigs from approximately 1:30 am until 8:00 am.

science doesn't explain everything.

relationship "pointers"

funny funny-good way to waste a few minutes & put both hands on your belly & shake around like a bowlful of jelly.
enjoy.

welcome home, banana

ladies & gentlemen...finally, finally, finally she came home. she traveled to distant lands...for a year of new people & experiences, etc., etc.
she experienced
...a new love
...a new heartbreak
...weird rules & feeling 13 again
...moving to pamplona
...seeing london
...italy with 3 of her favorite people
...julian being locked in a garage
...flying business class

in total-it seemed it wasn't exactly what she expected (or any of us, for that matter), but after quite a lot of drama, a lot of late night & early morning phone calls-she's home.

and in 30 days from today, she is moving to san francisco...to live with her favorite sister & start on another great adventure (that sounds like a really bad country song-apologies).
& me? what do i think about all this?

i'm glad she's back-VERY glad-and ps, ana, you are not allowed to move to another continent again-

& about ana moving into my cozy apartment? i am excited about that too...but realize my days of typing blogs in the nude are coming to an end (tear, from me & from all of you out there, i'm sure).

welcome home, weirdo.

my new fav t-shirts

i freaking love tshirts - noise bot & palmer cash have some radical (yes, radical) tshirts.
a few (a lot) of my favorites are below.

back to blogger...

tried iweb since getting all mac-obsessed...and though i am still totally ocd about apple products...i have to say, blogger is better (google, yr).

so back with a vengeance-huge bummer have to start over from scratch...i was obviously a little hasty when i decided to totally eradicate/raze my original blogger space-all old posts are gone, too much of a hassle to move them back, blah blah blah, i complain too much.
great times ahead.

pc, what?

so why did i ever use a pc?? this is the question after about 72 hours of mac use...i hesitated switching for the normal reasons...transferring, ease of working in a pc work sitch...and let me tell you, from the horse's mouth-i was a toad.

this is like the easiest thing ever, and i waited way too long. (of course there are things you have to get used to, etc...but nothing too complicated that you want to off yourself...and ps, my computer hasn't crashed once.)

i am a convert.

hallelujah.

i just wanted to post from my mac-i have nothing to say-happy sunday, peops.

(ana says belly looks like a deer in this picture-i only used it b/c i took it in photobooth & you can't see how tired i look without mac-up...that's attempted humor @ the word "make-up", someone needs a nap...)

albeit late, feliz ano nuevo

2007.
everyone is in that "do-over" mode...resolutions...diets...newfound enthusiasm for everything hated just 2 short days ago...ah the optimism found in a new number-2007...a number we get to use for just 363 more days...only 357 days until christmas (and pretty close to that for you kwanzaa, festivus & chanukah folk), people-let's get our heads in the right place.

but i have to admit-i buy into it-why not? a new chance to do something you've always wanted to do-something you were too afraid or too busy to do last year...its kind of nice, actually-like cleaning out your closet or throwing away old lotions you never use-it feels good.

sharing my brilliance IS one of my own personal resolutions-hence this handy tip for my nearest & dearest (really, i just have very little else to talk about...first day back to work being an excruciating drag, etc).

my real life, grown-up resolutions (or something like that)

*learn how to juggle

*learn how to play chess (& not lose all the time)

*create the 28-year soundtrack of my life (in an easy to purchase multiple disk anthology)

*by fully operational & @ 100% productivity with my new mac book pro by year's end (which i don't have yet-a minor detail)

*be silent for one entire day

*write one real letter a week

*wear a leotard to work

*start a food fight in a public place

*talk to my imaginary friend in public

& that's all i have for now...i'll keep you posted.

happy, merry, joyous, fabulous new year people-let's take a moment to smell the magnolia...nice

wrong side, again...

ok, so i am soaking wet, it's black as something really, super black-so i decide to switch to the other side.

i proceed with caution...look both ways, ONLY step into the crosswalk when the spasmodic-man-with-janky-legs-light turns on, i do NOT use the wheelchair on-ramp, i step off the curb just in case (because i am a very sympathetic to those less fortunate than me), i walk @ a regular rate, reaching the opposite curb far in advance of the janky-legged-man-being-replaced-with-the heart-beat-hand-light, i turn around, and i face the direction from whence i came-confident that i will view that faraway place with a triumphant smile, proud to have made it from the darkness into the proverbial light...

of course that is not what happens.

the minute i go to turn around i realize i have stepped in dog crap, there is a really scary looking man snarling @ me with one tooth in his mouth (barely hanging on, i might add) mad because i am stepping on his leprous hand, dirty sewer water covers my feet, the sky is pouring urine & now it's in my hair, and i say:

"wtf, mate? i thought it was this side that was supposed to be sunny?"

happens every time.

the details change, the analogy i use may differ with the situation, but in general-it is always the stinking same.

you bet your bottom dollar it is.

optimism is for dorks.

does that make me a cynic?

i love the stuff we are told growing up. we should do this, we shouldn't do that, we should see things this way, not that way.

let's focus on one that relates to the "sunny side of the street" (which, for the inattentive reader, does NOT, i repeat, does NOT exist)

when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

-who in the crap made this up? when you are handed some totally ridiculous/frustrating situation, you are supposed to stop & add a little sugar & water-which, if put into actualities means you are supposed to do what, exactly? stop & give the tool who messed things up a pat on the back? take time to put makeup on, get all dolled up after you had your front teeth knocked out? this is somehow supposed to make you feel better about yourself? feel warm fuzzies about the situation? what, what, gentle reader...WHY would you ever do this??

real life quip? when life hands you lemons, pucker up & suck. if you are the cautious type, pucker up, suck & have a chaser standing by.